It's been awhile

I have left this blog alone for awhile. I'm sorry. Life is crazy. But I don't really have an excuse cuz life is always crazy. Blogging hasn't been a big priority. 

Anyway, I got really overwhelmed working two jobs in the fall so I cut back alot of hours and quickly filled my social calendar with the new time I created. Well it has been fun, as I have gotten to be a part of a 13 week Financial Peace University class with some close friends. I also joined a small group of different friends, learning how to LOVE OUT LOUD, I also have been very involved in the student ministry reMIX at our church, Fellowship Orlando. It's been a blast but now it's time to go back to work.

I'm ready to work like no one else, so later on I can LiVE LiKE NO ONE ELSE!

Pray for me. I need determination and alot of discipline.

The Shack

My friend Shellie suggested a book to me and I never really thought much of it....that is until I was in Family Christian Book store and it was on sale :) anyway....i just finished reading The Shack by Paul Young. It was the strangest book I have ever read but I give it a 5STAR rating and definitely recommend it to you. You HAVE to read this book! Being human, it is near impossible to comprehend the omnipotent, omnipresent, all-knowing,and  infinite God for whom we were created. This fictional book, disects the Trinity and helps us wrap our tiny brains around this awesome God we serve! I learned so much about God, the Holy Spirit and Jesus, and their relationship to one another. And how and where we fit into creation. It destroys everything you have ever been "taught" on how to be a good Christian. This read was the coolest experience I have ever experienced....from a book no less. You have to read it. You can borrow my copy if you want. 

www.theshackbook.com (check it out)

Here's just an example of something I took away from this experience. 

Daily devotions. Every pastor in every church I have ever been to has instilled in us that God should always be our first priority. That we should love, God, love our spouse, then our kids, etc. It's set up like a hierarchy or pyramid. But that's just how our human minds comprehend it. I have always felt that I let God down when I don't do my devotions daily. Through my childhood my parents always asked, "Have you done your devotions today?" and I always had to make sure they were done before I could do anything fun. However, in this book, the author proposes that God doesn't want to be our first priority in the morning. He doesn't want to be first on our to do list. He wants to be a part of everything we do. He wants to help us get through the mundane tasks and chores of everyday life. He wants to be in us. he wants us in him. he wants to be constantly with us. Hearing this made so much sense to me. And now I feel that if I forget my devos for a day here and there, God's not mad at me. I will no longer feel guilt. In that case, I merely missed out on ten more minutes with my savior. Which sucks, but is most definitely a forgivable offense. And also, the term daily devotions. It simply means to daily devote everything in your life to Him. Do everything you do to glorify and honor Him. I no longer see "devotions" as a daunting chore that hangs over my head and accumulates the more I forget to do it. It's not homework. It's just appreciating creation. It's dedicating my job, my work, my play, my kids, my relationships, my daily tasks to my savior, my King, JESUS CHRIST. 

So, have you done your devotions today?   :)

Alcohol

I've been really torn lately about my position on alcohol. For the past few months, I have decided that it's ok to drink in moderation and as long as it does not become a habit but stays the exception. Make sense? My struggle has been that some Christians, my parents included, find that alcohol should be avoided at all costs. I haven't agreed with this at any point in my life, and it continues to be an uneasy topic in my parents household. Anyway, I have several Christian friends that agree and live by the same approach I do and others that choose not to drink at all, but they still do not condemn my choice of lifestyle.

Anyhow, like I stated above, I have been really torn lately on the issue. Not just for the reasons above but also because I am currently employed as a lunch hour bartender. So I have decided to dive into the topic and see what God has to say about it. As I am doing this personal explorative study, I have decided to stop drinking alcohol completely for the next 40 days. Maybe it will change my perspective on the issue, maybe not, but I'm giving God these next 40 days to show me what His thoughts are. 

Here are some of the verses I found tonight. (If you have any others, please post them)

Proverbs 20:1 [[to me this verse communicates that we shouldn't allow drinking to take our focus off of God]]

Proverbs 23:29-35 [[says stay away from wine, it tempts you to drink but it just leaves you wanting more and causes you pain...it  quite literally explains what some people refer to "beer goggles"...I found that really interesting that Solomon was so in tune with what being drunk felt like]]

Isaiah 5:11-12 [[says that people who stay up late to get drunk "have no regard for the deeds of the Lord, no respect for the work of His hands"... that one definitely stings however I never doubted where the Bible stood on drunkenness. I am still looking for verses that just speak on drinking, like a drink...not eight]]

Habakkuk 2:15-16 [[this one REALLLLY HURT! I have to quote this one for you.]] "Woe to him who gives drink to his neighbors, pouring it from the wineskin till they are drunk, so that he can gaze on their naked bodies. You will be filled with shame instead of glory. Now it is your turn! Drink and be exposed!" [[yeah, so I told you I'm a bartender but my goal isn't to get people naked in a restaurant, I just want them to tip me but does that make my work shameful. Is God ashamed of me? Will I be punished for my employment? I'm a lunch bartender so on most days, I'm not honestly getting anyone drunk....I know this verse is Old Testament and may not be relevant today, but man I'm soooooooo torn on this verse. Please give me your thoughts]]

Romans 13:13-14 [[this one talks about sexual immorality caused by drunkenness, but then has a neat ending]] "Clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature." [[I think this one is inferring that alcohol is just a desire we have that comes from our sinful nature. It's not something we need in our lives and I feel like it says look to Christ instead of the bottle to satisfy our needs.]]

1 Corinthians 15:33 "Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character." [[I have heard this phrase countless times but honestly I never knew it was actually in the Bible. On the topic of alcohol, this verse is straight up telling you to stay away from bars. Granted I work in a restaurant, but still...maybe I shouldn't even be in that environment. It's definitely not increasing my walk, thats for sure.]]

So... those are the first verses that I have found. If you know any others, or stumble on some, please post em. Thanks. And please pray for me to stay accountable to this 40 day sobriety ordeal.

:)

A downward spiral STOPPED

Our lead pastor just began a new series entitled, "Dear God..." and its all about prayer. My typical weekends don't usually allow the luxury of hearing the sermons on Sunday mornings so I listened to the first message in the series tonight while I was out running (ok so I was power walking....). The series is based around this awesome, but super short, prayer found in the old testament. You might know it as the Jabez Prayer. It is really simple. Check it out. 

I Chronicles 4:10

Jabez prayed to the God of Israel: "Bless me, Oh Bless me! Give me land, large tracts of it. And provide your personal protection--don't let evil hurt me." God gave him what he asked.

Who wouldn't want that to happen to them? I want this so badly. However, I am not going to be praying this for me this month. I will be praying for Ryan this month. I want God to bless him, grow his territory, and keep evil away from him! That is my prayer. :) 

In the same message, Rodney touched on that last piece of the prayer (about keeping me safe from evil)....another translation reads: "May your power be with me and free me from evil so  that I will not be in pain." That part almost knocked the wind out of me. Here are some of the points that caught my attention and reminded me how awesome our God is, like he told Rodney to mention this briefly just cuz I needed to hear it tonight.... check it out. maybe you can relate too...

The enemy wants to defeat me. He doesn't want me to succeed at work, school, with my relationships with the people I care most about, and ultimately with my relationship with God. He wants me to be overwhelmed by the circumstances of life. --Which is super hard to hear, because I have been totally consumed by what is happening in MY life lately, worried about so much, doubting myself constantly and dwelling in the past.-- When he can get me weak and vulnerable he knows he's got me right where he wants me, in a trap. I have fallen  victim to this trap because I HAVE become weak and vulnerable cuz I've taken my eyes off God, even for this brief moment, and I have put my eyes on my circumstances rather than living by faith. I have started living by sight and I have set myself up for failure because now all of the sudden I am beginning to compromise and loose sight of what God has for me and as a result, I have begun to abandon the principles that God wants me to live by and as a result of that I have started adjusting, compromising, and rearranging those principles to do what is right in my own eyes. I've made myself strong and think that I can overcome these circumstances and so I have started walking very near the edge of temptation thinking that I can handle it, I can do it on my own. But its a load of BS and I'm totally ready to admit it.

I'm oh so sick of letting each day pass, waiting for God to make a move in my life. I've gotten pretty bitter that he hasn't provided an opportunity or even showed me what to do with my life. But I haven't paid any attention to ask for his help.  I have been so concentrated on making sure I was equipped to handle my finances, my boyfriend, my relationships, my work....that I have completely lost sight of the faith that brought me to where I was when I felt completely satisfied with my relationship with Christ. Maybe that was it. Maybe it began to happen when I got content with my walk. Maybe thats how I began to slide back wards. Or not so much backwards, just into this brick wall. This brick wall that has left me emotionless and tired and frustrated and repulsed by own being. Who have I become? I don't want to be like this. I WONT be like this. I'm done living a mediocre life. I want more. God has more for me! So much more. I can't wait to see what my future holds! God, I'm so sorry I put you aside to try to plan my own future and life. It is exhausting. I'm over it. I want you. I need you. I crave and desire you to  be el numero uno in my life. I won't settle for having you anywhere but there. From this point forward, I'm done regretting. I'm done making excuses and false promises. I'm done lying to myself. I'm waking up. And I am ready for whatever you have in store. Whether you reveal it to me tomorrow or ten years down the road. I am here. I am willing. And I want with every piece of me to follow you, holding nothing back. I can and WILL do this for you. I love you.